Moving On…

zihui19.tumblr.com :))
I’ve decided, just like before, I will just leave this blog alone, but it’s officially dead. I’m moving on to tumblr, my only platform for short posts, do relink :D

It’s the end.

I guess this is the end of this blog, I am closing it down in three to four days time. It has been quite some time since I last blogged, so what’s the point of keeping it here without updating. I highly doubt I will ever have the time now, I’m always so busy, probably one of the hardest friend to date out these days. I’m honestly tired, so I shall give in to the laziness. Thanks for reading.. I’ll still be on FB, TUMBLR and TWITTER :)) TAKE LOADS OF CARE!!

Love, Zi Hui.

Never regret anything. Because, at one point of time, you wanted it.

Just a moment ago, I wanted to delete this blog away. Yet, when I took a peep at my blog site statistics, I realized that there are still people who do pop by to take a look. Honestly, I am not doing fine. Since my last post, a lot have happened. There are certain things that I would really like to say that I regret doing, yet I can’t. Cause, at one point of time, I wanted to do what I am doing and I actually did enjoy myself. Well, now I am not happy about it at all. I’m currently so lost and numb, I don’t even know how I should be feeling or what I should be thinking of.

I’m really tired.
I’m not happy.
And, I don’t know what to do about it.

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.

Bye, 2010. Hello, 2011.
One year has passed just like that, so fast.

In 2010, I experienced my first break up period.
In 2010, I started working.
In 2010, I became a tuition teacher, even got Teachers’ Day gifts from my students :)
In 2010, I met him, my super awesome LG :))
In 2010, I fell in love again ♥♥
In 2010, I freaked out with all the university administration.
In 2010, I started school in NTU.
In 2010, I gave up Touch Rugby.
In 2010, I stayed away from home.
In 2010, I watched super duper little TV.
In 2010, I had a room mate, fab fab Abby :D
In 2010, I painted six banners.
In 2010, I missed home.
In 2010, I missed my close girlfriends and brothers.
In 2010, I missed out on tons of special and meaningful events.
In 2010, I have never had enough time, it was always ‘so much to do, yet so little time‘.
In 2010, I met some brotherly guy friends, who made a huge difference in my school life.
In 2010, I broke down and felt like I screwed up big time.

2010, you woah-ed my life, but I am exhausted and drained. It wasn’t a typical study all year long, chill and relaxing year with close friends and family. It was an uncomfortable year, at least in the beginning. It was a year that I was forced to grow up and mature in a pace too fast and furious for me, but I made it. There are still regrets, but looking back now, it feels all worthwhile.

I’m not exactly looking forward to 2011. I’m just counting the blessings that I had in 2010, remembering all the people who have been there for me, appreciating the year that has passed. 2011, whatever that you have in store for me, I’m not ready for you. All I need now is some time to take a break, slow down and take a breather. Can you give that to me?

The best things in life are unseen, that’s why you close our eyes to cry, kiss or dream.

Why is it so hard for me to understand? Why is it so hard for you too? The day I fell, I thought I would be prepared to break and get hurt, but I am not. If this time round, it doesn’t work out right, I will stop trying, cause I think I would no longer be brave enough. For tonight, I close my eyes to..

When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on in the first place.

Dilapidated means to be in a state of disrepair or ruin as a result of age or neglect, the best word to describe the state of my blog. It has been ages since I last updated my blog, I wonder who still pop by to take a look these days. For those, who are really close to me, you should know, I have been dead busy. So busy, it isn’t just this blog that I forgot about, it’s everything and everyone else in my life, other than my NTU peers and hall mates. I don’t know where to start, how to tell you or even record this down for myself to read back in future about how university life has been like for me for the past two months..

It’s a rush. It’s a dream come true that turn into a nightmare, before waking up to find yourself exhausted and drained once again, begging to get more rest. I just read my very first post that I wrote when I first stepped into NTU.. The excitement has died down, the harsh reality has stepped in, I’ve settled in. No longer lost and late for lessons, no longer rushing to buy/print notes, no longer trying new things out or discovering interesting places in NTU..  Now, it’s rushing to finish tutorials, trying not to skip lectures, deciding which canteen food to have cause you are tired of another, sleeping at 3am- 4am in the morning and forcefully wake yourself up to go for school and playing my role as the Asst. Honorary General Sect. in my hall. It’s everything else, except for sleeping enough, eating leisurely and spending time with loved ones.

From the start of the semester, I was walking into a disillusion. I got really messed up, struggling to juggle everything in hand, facing with tons of problems. Now, I’m pretty much still in a mess, just with more support. I’ll get over this period, it’s just part and parcel of life, another phrase. When everything is over, I will look back and see how much I have grown, like always.

To my awesome bros,  Junhao & Webster, CONGRATULATIONS!! It’s finally over, you’re freed. Go enjoy, play my share, savour the sweetness of doing nth :)

It’s not where you are from, it’s where you are going.

When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up.. Our answers were things like, “Astronaut, president, or in my case… A princess.”

When we were ten, they asked again and we answered, “Rock star, cowboy, or in my case… A gold medallist.”

But now that we’ve grown up, they want a serious answer. Well, how about this, “Who the hell knows?!”

This isn’t the time to make hard and fast decisions, it’s the time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere, chill. Fall in love, a lot. Major in philosophy, cause there’s no way to make a career out of that. Change your mind. Then, change it again, because nothing is permanent.

So, make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask again what we want to be… We won’t have to guess, we’ll know.

Eclipse

Hurray, I have finally officially started school!! Sorry for the recent disappearance and lack of posts, I was busy moving into my new room at NTU Hall 3/ cleaning up my room/ trying to get my LAN cable to work in my room to use the internet/ getting my tutorials downloaded/ buying my notes from Lee Wee Nam Library/ getting lost occasionally/ buying grocery etc etc.. We, as in me and Abigail, are almost settled in. It’s really a super nice experience, school and hall life.

After last Wednesday’s Freshmen Welcome Ceremony, I feel ‘branded’ and that I’m in safe hands being a NTU student. How many times have your parents/ relatives/ teachers/ random elderly told you to study hard so that you can make it into a university? When I was younger, I didn’t understand how important and significant it is, now I do. As long as you get into a local university, you’ve made it. It’s like some chemical reaction, nobody cares what path you take, the end product is what matters most. The feeling is really indescribable, you got to taste it yourself. Peeps, who are still studying hard for A’ Levels, study damn ass hard. It’s worth it. I’ve made it, all that I want to do now is enjoy life as an undergraduate and do well cause I want to be all ready to face working life in near future.. It’s bedtime! Nights, peeps. I’ll be back soon enough..

Random, I love HTHT session with Abigail before bedtime :))

P.S. Once I am done with doing up my room, I will upload some photos of my pretty and neat room!!

♥ LG

ME: Go and sleep, you’re almost falling asleep on me..
LG: No, I must persevere!!
ME: *laughs* Huh? Persevere for what?! Just go to bed..
LG: Persevere until you don’t want me anymore..
ME: I will never ever not want you, so how?
LG: I will persevere until I die then..
ME: *laughs* Omg, go and sleep, you’re starting to mumble nonsense!
LG: I love you.
ME: Ok, for that part, you’re not mumbling nonsense, I love you too. ((:

So, that’s the end of my night chat for tonight. Today, LG misses me a lot more than usual.. He might be a little upset, but I am feeling a tinge of happiness, cause I am not the only one missing us..

Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it, good things happen when you get your priorities straight.

I’ve been playing Touch for two years, took a break for a year and I was recently back at it again. After much consideration, I’ve decided to drop the sport once again. No sighs, cause the fun I get from playing Touch is no longer the fun that I am looking for. I love Touch a lot, but it’s not enough. Loving is one thing, having the ability to commit for trainings and not start to dread them is another.. I love Touch, but I’ve no intentions to play it till I’m in my late 20s or 30s. I love Touch, I like being good at playing it, but I want to have more company than those from my team mates. As much as playing competitively for the university guarantees you a place in one of the halls, there are also other happier and more fun ways to achieving that.

Previously, I was juggling between three different roles. Being the Vice Captain of Bikila, a Touch player and a student.. It wasn’t easier, I almost screwed everything up. I don’t need and I don’t wish to have that kind of stressful life again.. I want to enjoy my university life, making friends and having fun. So, I’ve decided to drop the role as a competitive Touch player, I’ll just play Touch recreationally. Soon, I should be exchanging the role as a NTU Touch player for the role of a JCRC member. No regrets, cause it’s something I would love to do too. Planning camps and leading peers, with loads of fun ((:

As for now, I’m drafting an email to explain everything to my Coach. I’m sorry, but I don’t think I share the sentiments as I did before joining the team two months ago. I doubt you would want such a player, a player who can’t commit. As we go down the road of life, priorities changes, mine did..

In between goals, there is a thing called life that has to be lived and enjoyed.

Hey peeps, I am back after an extremely draining week at Hall 3′s Freshmen Orientation Camp and NUS Turbo Challenge! Though I am seriously exhausted, I really had loads of fun. I’ll let the photos do the talking, cause I would prefer that to reading chunks of words. AWESOME, it’s the only word that I can use to describe the company I had through the camp.

First day, we had ice breakers and started playing some games.. This station was 'Odd One Out', apparently our choices were always wrong. Lol.

Second round at that game, we kept losing so our legs were already pretty drenched by then..

On the first night, we had our Fright Night at some old commando camp. It was really creepy, there isn't much photos taken there cause it's a plain taboo.

Our real wet games were on held on the second day, it was really gross. We were drenched in sea water, with loads of mud bombs.

Almost end of the session, this is our last station before mass wet games, 'No NG in 100s'.

This was us, after wet games, I guess we were having some break.. So, cam-whore!! :D

If I'm not wrong, this was the second night, we were all ready for some mass dancing!! :)

Chee Meng, my dancing partner for the camp. Throughout the whole dance, our eyes were either on the seniors on the platform or on the floor staring at our feet. Lol.

Shermaine, my close buddy throughout the camp ((: I miss this babe alr, can't wait to see her in the hall. I hope our rooms are real close!!

On the third day, we had our own mini version of Amazing Race. It was really damn exhausting, running and doing tasks the whole day.

Eden's FABULOUS GLs and Seniors Attached!!

Everywhere we went, we had to take photos to show that we completed our tasks.

Everytime we take a photo, we'll chant, "我要看到我的脸!" It's really damn funny..

I think this was an extra photo, I don't remember why we took with the Merlion, but the background looks pretty :))

This was an extra station Eden played during the Amazing Race, Yani impromptu created it by the street. We were made to roll on each other until I was feeling dizzy, so that explains the photo.. We were made to do it, so that our other GL could catch up with us cause he went to buy frozen yoghurt for us to eat that hot afternoon. Super nice of him :D

How can we not have a jump shot after camwhoring so much, right? Jump, Eden!!

My favourite station for that day, Dragon Boating!!

It was super fun!! I got alittle wet, but still feel shiok rowing back and fro to get our next clue..

Our Amazing Race lasted all the way to the night, it only ended around 11plus.. By this second last station, we were all shag ttm.

All geared up, pretty and chio, waiting to meet up our SPs..

Shermaine and me, with our SPs.

Yi Zhe, my 'hold hands' partner. Lol. He's taking the same course as me, potential study partner!! The main reason I join Hall Camp was to find someone to accompany me for breaks and lessons, so mission accomplished! :D

The beginning of a wild night ahead.. Hehehehee.

Some of the girls with our fake OG mate, Sheree. Try guessing who is the fake OG mate, she is a really cool senior! :)

Eleanor, another senior faking it. She is roomie with Sheree, they were really caring and helpful throughout the camp.

Winfred, top left. He was a senior attached, who was loads of fun to hang around with too.

Eden Family Portrait 1.

Eden Family Portrait 2.

Eden Family Portrait 3.

Last Eden Family Portrait, I hope everyone will stick around. Thanks Eden, I had loads of fun cause of you guys!! :))

I will update about my NUS Turbo Challenge another time.. As for now, I shall slack around. I am still feeling tired, haven’t recover from the camp and yesterday’s tournament. I guess it’s going to take days till I fully recovered from the exhaustion. Ciao, peeps, it’s nap time again.