I’ve decided, just like before, I will just leave this blog alone, but it’s officially dead. I’m moving on to tumblr, my only platform for short posts, do relink :D
I guess this is the end of this blog, I am closing it down in three to four days time. It has been quite some time since I last blogged, so what’s the point of keeping it here without updating. I highly doubt I will ever have the time now, I’m always so busy, probably one of the hardest friend to date out these days. I’m honestly tired, so I shall give in to the laziness. Thanks for reading.. I’ll still be on FB, TUMBLR and TWITTER :)) TAKE LOADS OF CARE!!
Love, Zi Hui.
Just a moment ago, I wanted to delete this blog away. Yet, when I took a peep at my blog site statistics, I realized that there are still people who do pop by to take a look. Honestly, I am not doing fine. Since my last post, a lot have happened. There are certain things that I would really like to say that I regret doing, yet I can’t. Cause, at one point of time, I wanted to do what I am doing and I actually did enjoy myself. Well, now I am not happy about it at all. I’m currently so lost and numb, I don’t even know how I should be feeling or what I should be thinking of.
I’m really tired.
I’m not happy.
And, I don’t know what to do about it.
Bye, 2010. Hello, 2011.
One year has passed just like that, so fast.
In 2010, I experienced my first break up period.
In 2010, I started working.
In 2010, I became a tuition teacher, even got Teachers’ Day gifts from my students :)
In 2010, I met him, my super awesome LG :))
In 2010, I fell in love again ♥♥
In 2010, I freaked out with all the university administration.
In 2010, I started school in NTU.
In 2010, I gave up Touch Rugby.
In 2010, I stayed away from home.
In 2010, I watched super duper little TV.
In 2010, I had a room mate, fab fab Abby :D
In 2010, I painted six banners.
In 2010, I missed home.
In 2010, I missed my close girlfriends and brothers.
In 2010, I missed out on tons of special and meaningful events.
In 2010, I have never had enough time, it was always ‘so much to do, yet so little time‘.
In 2010, I met some brotherly guy friends, who made a huge difference in my school life.
In 2010, I broke down and felt like I screwed up big time.
2010, you woah-ed my life, but I am exhausted and drained. It wasn’t a typical study all year long, chill and relaxing year with close friends and family. It was an uncomfortable year, at least in the beginning. It was a year that I was forced to grow up and mature in a pace too fast and furious for me, but I made it. There are still regrets, but looking back now, it feels all worthwhile.
I’m not exactly looking forward to 2011. I’m just counting the blessings that I had in 2010, remembering all the people who have been there for me, appreciating the year that has passed. 2011, whatever that you have in store for me, I’m not ready for you. All I need now is some time to take a break, slow down and take a breather. Can you give that to me?
Why is it so hard for me to understand? Why is it so hard for you too? The day I fell, I thought I would be prepared to break and get hurt, but I am not. If this time round, it doesn’t work out right, I will stop trying, cause I think I would no longer be brave enough. For tonight, I close my eyes to..
Dilapidated means to be in a state of disrepair or ruin as a result of age or neglect, the best word to describe the state of my blog. It has been ages since I last updated my blog, I wonder who still pop by to take a look these days. For those, who are really close to me, you should know, I have been dead busy. So busy, it isn’t just this blog that I forgot about, it’s everything and everyone else in my life, other than my NTU peers and hall mates. I don’t know where to start, how to tell you or even record this down for myself to read back in future about how university life has been like for me for the past two months..
It’s a rush. It’s a dream come true that turn into a nightmare, before waking up to find yourself exhausted and drained once again, begging to get more rest. I just read my very first post that I wrote when I first stepped into NTU.. The excitement has died down, the harsh reality has stepped in, I’ve settled in. No longer lost and late for lessons, no longer rushing to buy/print notes, no longer trying new things out or discovering interesting places in NTU.. Now, it’s rushing to finish tutorials, trying not to skip lectures, deciding which canteen food to have cause you are tired of another, sleeping at 3am- 4am in the morning and forcefully wake yourself up to go for school and playing my role as the Asst. Honorary General Sect. in my hall. It’s everything else, except for sleeping enough, eating leisurely and spending time with loved ones.
From the start of the semester, I was walking into a disillusion. I got really messed up, struggling to juggle everything in hand, facing with tons of problems. Now, I’m pretty much still in a mess, just with more support. I’ll get over this period, it’s just part and parcel of life, another phrase. When everything is over, I will look back and see how much I have grown, like always.
To my awesome bros, Junhao & Webster, CONGRATULATIONS!! It’s finally over, you’re freed. Go enjoy, play my share, savour the sweetness of doing nth :)
When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up.. Our answers were things like, “Astronaut, president, or in my case… A princess.”
When we were ten, they asked again and we answered, “Rock star, cowboy, or in my case… A gold medallist.”
But now that we’ve grown up, they want a serious answer. Well, how about this, “Who the hell knows?!”
This isn’t the time to make hard and fast decisions, it’s the time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere, chill. Fall in love, a lot. Major in philosophy, cause there’s no way to make a career out of that. Change your mind. Then, change it again, because nothing is permanent.
So, make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask again what we want to be… We won’t have to guess, we’ll know.
Hurray, I have finally officially started school!! Sorry for the recent disappearance and lack of posts, I was busy moving into my new room at NTU Hall 3/ cleaning up my room/ trying to get my LAN cable to work in my room to use the internet/ getting my tutorials downloaded/ buying my notes from Lee Wee Nam Library/ getting lost occasionally/ buying grocery etc etc.. We, as in me and Abigail, are almost settled in. It’s really a super nice experience, school and hall life.
After last Wednesday’s Freshmen Welcome Ceremony, I feel ‘branded’ and that I’m in safe hands being a NTU student. How many times have your parents/ relatives/ teachers/ random elderly told you to study hard so that you can make it into a university? When I was younger, I didn’t understand how important and significant it is, now I do. As long as you get into a local university, you’ve made it. It’s like some chemical reaction, nobody cares what path you take, the end product is what matters most. The feeling is really indescribable, you got to taste it yourself. Peeps, who are still studying hard for A’ Levels, study damn ass hard. It’s worth it. I’ve made it, all that I want to do now is enjoy life as an undergraduate and do well cause I want to be all ready to face working life in near future.. It’s bedtime! Nights, peeps. I’ll be back soon enough..
Random, I love HTHT session with Abigail before bedtime :))
P.S. Once I am done with doing up my room, I will upload some photos of my pretty and neat room!!